Reverb10, Day 11–11 Things
Well, let’s see. Thinking about things my life doesn’t need is simple but Lord knows that even though there are quite a few things I don’t need, that doesn’t mean I’ll get rid of them (thinking things here like coffee, unnecessary spending and my devotion to The Young and the Restless). Then there are the things that really, truly serve no purpose but I keep them around because I haven’t yet been ready to let them go.
1. Excuses. Yep, I make them and half the time I don’t believe them either. They never help; yes, they might prolong the inevitable for just a bit, but whatever I’m trying to avoid is still there, waiting patiently, resolved to not budge.
2. Blame. The ugly twin of #1. Blame needs to go, and I need to fully accept my responsibility for where I am and how I live my life. No matter what someone else does (or does not do) I choose how I act or don’t act.
3. Denial. I’m 40-freakin-years-old; no reason to pretend that refusing to acknowledge my bank balance means it will magically grow.
4. The weight. Yep, I know I say this every year. And around this time, every year, I’m completely pissed off at myself because I weigh the same I did in January. But right now my back hurts, and I know it’s my extra weight; I’m always tired, but know that’s the extra weight. For whatever reason I was never really ready to let it go before; I think I’m ready now.
5. Thinking ‘this is it’. I’m a realist, and I don’t believe in the ‘if you think it, it will happen’ movement. I don’t care how many times I think “I am 6 foot tall with long flowing black hair and a perfect nose”….just ain’t gonna happen. BUT that doesn’t mean that I have to think that this is it….no, it’s not. I’m only stuck if I refuse to move.
6. Facebook stalking. Oh,shush….you do it too.
7. Wasting time. I don’t utilize the little pockets of time that I have well, and I’ve always been an ‘all or nothing’ type of girl. I need to learn how to leverage the 20 minute gifts of time to my advantage instead of piddling them away. I’d be so much more productive.
8. Crappy music. Let’s just say I wouldn’t shed a tear if I never, ever, ever hear Taylor Swift’s voice again. Or Kesha’s, or Jessica Simpson’s.
9. Pretending that making a home isn’t important. I downplay this part of my life sometimes because it doesn’t seem as important as some of the other tasks at hand (making a living, buying groceries, etc). But creating and nurturing an environment where the kids love to be, where they feel loved, where we all feel comfortable; well, that’s important to me and I love puttering around the house, finding ways to make it seem nicer than it is. I shouldn’t discount that.
10. Being too busy to plan. I’m a big fan of the ‘fly by the seat of my pants’ school of thought. And the world doesn’t end when I’m scattered, but I create a lot of stress for myself (and those I love). I need to take a few minutes to plan and stop telling myself I ‘don’t have time’. I’d save so much time if I’d just think before I act.
11. Beige. Or black, since they’re pretty much interchangeable; I tend to say ‘beige’ about the lifestyle and black about the clothes, but the sentiment is the same: conformist, boring, sad. Uninspired. I refuse to live a color-less life. I think that’s the reason I’m missing scrapbooking so much….I miss the color, the paint, the combination of things that make the heart smile. This year, I need less beige.