Ironic, I think, the the message I woke up to this morning from The Daily Word was this:

Daily Word — Thursday, May 7, 2009
Healing

As a child of God, I am healthy and whole. I live a complete and balanced life.
I am more than my name, personality, career, and image portray me to be. I am a child of God who has been created to be healthy and whole.
I feel a resounding yes from the spirit of God within me each time I affirm: I am a child of God. Knowing who I am and claiming this truth in every circumstance, I am both energized and at peace.
I am physically strong, mentally alert, and spiritually centered. I speak words of faith about the life within the cells of my body, and that life responds as healing and renewal. I am whole and holy. God’s spirit is both personal and transcendent, within me and everywhere around me. I have a vitality that sustains me in all that I do. Healthy and whole, I live a complete and balanced life.
“It is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God.”–Romans 8:16

A reminder to me, perhaps, that I’m not supposed to complain about not loving the work I do but instead be grateful that I have a good job that allows me to still spend some time with my childrent. A reminder that even though I haven’t been succesful at losing this weight, that that alone doesn’t make me a failure. A reminder that even if they do find something wrong after this test today, that it’s not the end of the world.

Even with reminders, though, I can’t turn my brain off. Last night was the first night in ages that I’ve gone to bed before midnight….and still I couldn’t sleep. Too much running through my head, too many thoughts and questions and ‘what-ifs’. I wish I had the ability–like some people–to ‘turn things over to God’ and not worry anymore.

I’m not there yet.