It’s been far too many Mondays since I posted a Listen to Your Mother video. Chalk it up to crazy schedules, not feeling great or just plain running out of time, but I feel remiss for not being more diligent. I really do want to share every last one of the readings from the 2013 shows, because I know just how amazing it was to be on the stage and part of something that was at once bigger than just me but still intensely personal.
Perhaps that’s why Laura‘s reading resonates so much with me these days. I don’t know about you, but I have countless reasons everyday to go a little nuts. Every mother knows what I’m talking about; those times that you you’re so exhausted you think you can’t take another step; the times you can’t wash one more dirty plate or the utter despair you feel when your kid ‘reminds’ you at 10 pm that their music show outfit has to be washed and ready for an early morning event the next morning.
The days lately seem to be full of them, though with each one I think of that cute little Mother’s Day gift (or was it a Christmas gift…I can’t remember now) that each of the kids made when they first started school. The cute little print-out, framed in painted popsicle sticks, that said to not rush to clean the fingerprints off the glass because someday the little people leaving those prints will be grown up and, just as my glass will be fingerprint free my life will be devoid of little people who need me, little hands that find mine and little arms that circle my neck.
My kids are big enough now that it seems silly to think in terms of dirty screen door glass, but that’s what goes through my mind. They’re old enough to still need me AND to question me, and that combination is exhausting. It’s also wonderful, and each time they push or question or challenge I feel myself torn between pride and exasperation, sometimes wishing for the days I could soothe them by nursing and the lulling rock of our chair but at other times bursting with excitement to see a glimpse of the adults they will soon be.
In her Listen to Your Mother piece, Laura talked about the character building years. She reminisces about when her boys were still babies but from my current vantage point of motherhood, it seems to me that in this world of parenting every year is a character building year in one way or another.