I’ve always hated that expression ‘the cobblers children have no shoes’, but I sure have proven the sentiment to be true of late: the writer’s blog has no entries. It’s been far too long, more than a month filled with activity and drama and enough stuff to keep me away from introspection and self-reflection.
I told someone not so long ago that when I was in my 20’s, working 80 hours a week and enjoying my time as a single gal around Chicago, I thought I was so incredibly busy I couldn’t imagine fitting more into the day. Ten years after that, when I was still working as many hours but had added a husband and a few offspring to the mix I looked back on that that time and thought ‘what the hell did I DO with all that time?!”
Now, another 10 years after that, I’m asking the same question and juggling clients, friends, loved ones and children and trying my darnedest to not let any of them drop through the proverbial cracks. But they do drop, I’ve learned, some so lightly and with the ability to bounce back that I may not have noticed but for that Catholic guilt that I’ve mastered in my 40 years. Others, though, come crashing down with a thud so loud you’d think my big backside dropped along with it.
So I’m coming–yet again–to the realization that I get to choose how I spend my time, who I invest it in, and what I do with my hours. I haven’t quite made it past the point of knowing this to be true and implementing the wisdom I’m so thrilled to have. But since I’m a work in progress, I’m going to pat myself on the back for trying and leave it at that.
So you can imagine how thrilled I was to stumble upon Reverb10 on Twitter, a lovely concept that I am hoping will give me the impetus to blog a little, every day. Just a little….which means I grant myself permission to not worry about saying something interesting or long or ‘worth reading’. I’m using this lovely concept as a reason to just write. Anything or not much at all. Whatever flows from the prompts.
December 6 prompt from the lovely Gretchen Rubin: Make
What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?
The last thing…memories. With my Nicholas, who had been feeling (in his words) “unloved and not very happy”. Broke my heart to hear that, and made me realize that in all the activity of late I’d lost touch with what I hold most dear: time with my kids. Not time grocery shopping, or running errands or practicing spelling words. But just time connecting. I’d become too busy, which is ludicrous if you think about it. So tonight, just my little guy and I, we made some memories. We perked up his room, put up a tiny little tree with some cool lights (Ninja lights, he calls them, because they can blink like a disco ball or fade in and out with the touch of a button), decorated with ornaments (during which he said “Uh, Mommy, can you stop calling the ornaments balls? It just sounds wrong.”), cuddled in his comfy chair and drank some hot cocoa. It wasn’t much and it cost nothing but time.
There are so many more things I’d like to be making: cookies, aprons, scrapbooks, cards, curtains……and quite a few more I need to be making: money, progress, a difference, waves, history. But for now, for tonight, I am content to know that I made my little guy feel loved.