Being held accountable to your own stuff can be quite an eye-opener, no? Take today's #Reverb11 prompt: 12 Things: What are 12 things your life doesn't need in 2012? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 12 things change your life? (Props to original Author: Sam Davidson) If you did Reverb10, how are you making out on your 11 Things from last year?
I've touched on this throughout the year, both here on my blog and over coffee (or frozen yogurt) with friends. I bemoan my still anemic bank account, perpetually ample backside and the icky feeling that I haven't budged since last year. I feel sorry for myself, resort to a torrid affair with Ben and Jerry to ease the pain of reality and vow–again and again and again–to get off my ass and change things.
Last year at this time, I wrote about excuses and denial and color and time. And I can honestly say, in retrospect, that I've made progress. Not with the numbers of the bank account or pant size as much as the inside stuff that's harder to work on. I'm not perfect and don't pretend to be, but I'm learning to own my own failures instead of blaming others. I'm no longer in denial though reality is still scary. I've made pretty good strides with chunking things down to make better use of my time, think in terms of absolutes much less often and added the bright and cheery color of coral to my wardrobe. My favorite is #9, and it's not just because I now have beautiful new carpet to vacuum (as often as possible, btw).
So my list this year? I'm wondering if the perennial favorites (less weight, more money, etc) don't belong on the list at all. Listen to any self-help guru long enough and they'll tell you that those things are really outward expressions of how we feel on the inside anyway. So why not start there instead? And instead of listing just 12 things I don't need, I think I'll get all wild and crazy and split it down the middle to add things I do need. 'Cuz that's how I roll.
Guilt. Doesn't matter what it's over, it keeps me stuck and feeds the ick. It's worn out its welcome and is free to move along.
Denial. I'm not talking in terms of diet, but rather denying myself the self care I deserve. Denying my body good, wholesome food, water and kindness. Denying my need to pretend I'm creative. Denying my need for sleep. I'd be much better off without denial.
Sugar. This is one of those things that I know but ignore. I know that I feel gross after too much sugar. Yet I indulge anyway. Finding a lovely replacement might be a start.
Clutter. I struggle with this. I equate a certain amount of clutter–stuff–with homey. I see completely clear spaces and think 'empty' instead of zen. But surely there's a happy medium, right?
Late fees. Hate 'em.
Doubt. In myself, God's plan and the love of others.
What I need more of:
Water. My biggest challenge is drinking water. How whacked out is that?! Much like my sugar struggle, I know how good I feel when I drink it yet I resist. Go figure.
Yoga. For one blissful month I stretched and sweated and grew. I loved every minute of it. I need it not only for my body but for my mind, my emotions and my sanity.
Cupcakes. Yes, I know they're pure sugar. But the cupcakes I need are the ones that Erin and I bake on Sunday afternoons. Doesn't matter if I eat them; it only matters that I spend time with her doing something she loves.
Prayer. I joke that I'm a Catholic and therefore don't really know how to pray. I do believe it's high time I figured it out.
Faith. Not only in God but in myself, my kids and the goodness that surrounds us.
Winning lottery tickets. Seriously, that would make things so much easier