I'm mixing it up a bit here and taking a prompt from a new source, @dailyangst. I haven't embraced #Reverb11 like I did #Reverb10, and I'm not sure why. The intention is there, just not strong enough to find the inspiration necessary to make daily posting happen. I'm going with the 'it is what it is' philosophy, even though I've hated that expression in the past. It always seemed a cop out, an excuse and a way to get someone to shut up when you couldn't defend your actions (or lack of action) anymore.
Do I sound like I have baggage? I suppose I do; forgiving is one thing, forgetting quite another. And sometimes it's the little things that stick with us long after a person is gone that keep that baggage packed. Nonetheless, I'm thinking of that baggage because it almost kept this prompt from happening. It almost made me put up walls so thick and enormous that Spiderman couldn't scale them (I'm not even talking about the accident-prone Broadway Spiderman; I'm talking the real Spiderman here). It almost had me thinking I'd never again experience a relationship that was real, good and worthy of celebration. Almost.
Then, for some reason, I leaped. I responded to an email, then another, then another and found myself giddy with anticipation about when the next would arrive. With shaking hands I waited in a booth at Johnny's across from the Sprint Center, hoping that the date would live up to the expectation I'd created after so many virtual conversations. With guarded hope I got lost in an evening of music and conversation and connection.
One of my favorite quotes has always been 'leap and the net will appear'. I've tried it a few times and still have the bruises to prove that it's not always true; or, if it is true, that I should have read the fine print to make sure the net would hold me. I'm wise enough to know that sometimes the net gives way after you get comfy and feel safe, and that those falls leave the biggest bruises of all. Even so, I know even more that big scary leaps, right into the unknown, are so very worth it.