So maybe it isn’t such a good thing for me to have so much quiet time. Kids have been gone since Tuesday and I have to admit I’m going a little nutty. Doesn’t help that work is so slow and that I’m there pretty much by myself most of the time (and when I’m not alone, the people who are there aren’t exactly the ones I want to talk to). But all this quiet is giving me too much time to think about ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves’.

I know–intellectually–that dwelling on those things isn’t good. Doesn’t stop my mind from wandering, though. Not all of it is sad but enough of it is. That’s the way reflection is, though, isn’t it? I was reading through horoscopes today (told you I was bored at work) and mine talked about Cancer’s inability to stay put–to hold a job for very long, etc. Not in a flighty way but in a “so many things are interesting that I can’t pick just one” way. Makes me wonder how many other aspects of my life that’s true in.

I like Olathe but I miss living somewhere where I can walk to interesting places instead of just suburbia. My mind wanders to when the kids are older and I’m free to move anywhere I want–I could see myself moving around to different places just to experience them. Doesn’t make for a very stable future, does it?

Oh well–I can think about the ‘what ifs’ all I want, it won’t change anything. Lots to focus on right here in the present….some things with very immediate demands and lots of things with complex answers that won’t be wrapped up any time soon. Just wish I could calm my mind and focus on those things.