Reverb10 Day 18–What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? Courtesy of Kaileen Elise
Confession time….I've never had a bucket list. It's too depressing to have a list of 'not yet accomplished' staring at me, day after day. Trust me, I already remember the list of things left unexperienced. I don't really need the extra taunting that a list might bring. So with all due respect to the lovely Kaileen, I'm trying to not see this prompt as either an exercise for a list of 2011 goals OR a pseudo bucket list, which means that even though I'd like nothing more than a trip through Italy and France, you won't find those things in this entry.
I'll make another confession: 2010 was such a strange year that I can't really say I tried to do anything but keep it together. Losing a job, starting a business, paying the bills and keeping 3 kids in peanut butter and school clothes….I'm not complaining, mind you, but there wasn't much time to try anything. I either did or I didn't, and the proof was in the bank account or the fridge. It's been a full year now, though, and I can honestly say that I've survived. There's not much of a cushion but we have a roof over our heads, the heat is going strong and we're very rarely out of peanut butter. I realized this past week that it's now time for a well-deserved breath.
Which leads me to my first 'want to try' for 2011: to be more intentional. 2010 was reactionary. Desperate at times. I took work that I didn't like, clients I knew would be terrible to work with, all because I needed the business. I still need the business, but I have come to understand that taking on work that doesn't pay what I am worth, or that is so far out of my comfort zone, isn't a smart move. I will define what I do best and focus on that.
Number two also relates to work: I will work on my projects. There are 2 books that I have started but not finished and another 2 that I am collaborating on. I want to work on them instead of wishing that I had time to work on them. Structuring my time in such a way that I make them a priority is something I want to do this year.
Number three is more personal, but nonetheless important. It has less to do with weight loss than it does with my outlook on life, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't hoping to kill two birds with one stone. I want to regularly practice yoga. I want to reduce that disconnect that I've felt so acutely this year and feel more comfortable in my own skin.
Number four is a perennial favorite; spending more quality time with my kids, whether that's all 4 of us together or dates with each one individually. There's absolutely no reason I can't make more time for them, and I know that this is the one thing that I will look back on after they are grown up and moved away and be truly sorry I didn't follow through with. They are such gifts, shared with me for such a short time, and I must remember that.
Finally, number five. I want to try to live from a place of gratitude. I tend to be glass-half-empty more often than I care to admit. I call it realism but that doesn't really matter. I have much to be thankful for, much to celebrate and even more to appreciate about the world around me. I'm tired of thinking in terms of 'not enough' and ready to start filling the glass.